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Beyond R and M: Shankton Meets the Reverend
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Beyond R and M: Shankton Meets the Reverend
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Added: January 26, 2007
Briefing
In the hotly contested Southern Oregon resource node, General Hank Shankton is an up and coming warlord, looking to shed the "petty"
designation and make the transition into being a major player. He
has discovered that the Reverend might hold resources beyond his
appearance, and is making his move to secure them.
Shankton is a lively
and earnest intellect, untroubled by conscience, who is genuinely
interested in learning from everyone he meets on his quest to acheive absolute military power in the region. Although the Reverend is at a considerable
disadvantage in the conversation, Shankton is deeply affected by this
encounter and is unable to get the issues raised in it out of his
head.
The Reverend is a modest man with modest goals, who has
watched with complete disbelief and horror as the region in which his
congregation lives has deteriorated into an international military
free-for-all. He has none of the televangelist trappings that make
religious men so vile to behold, and is geniunely interested in the
spiritual health of his congregation.
There is a sophisticated fund
raising system in place in the organization however, which has
allowed the church to build several enormous indoor meeting places
with excellent sound systems, as well as an outdoor ampitheatre (that
seats 4,000), a gigantic sports and health retreat, a bible study
rare books library, a movie theatre, and finally an extremely
tasteful administrative headquarters on the hillside overlooking the
woodsy, rambling campus.
This is the first time the two have met and is a straightforward
collision between two earnest participants.
The Action
(The scene starts with the Reverend seated behind his desk in his office, which is modest in size and appointment in almost every way, except for the two floor to ceiling plate glass windows that provide a stunning view of the campus and the surrounding Oregon countryside. On the wall to the side of the Reverend are the video feeds of several concurrent sermons that are going on around the complex.
Shankton is standing in the middle of the room in the middle of making a point. He alternates between being disarmingly earnest and spookily menacing throughout the conversation, and the Reverand cannot make head nor tail of it).
Shankton
So just for an example, imagine I
stood over here on this end of your office and fired a gun at your
head. Now tell me, tell me when the Will of God will take over the
flight of this bullet as it goes from the muzzle of the gun to the
middle of your forehead...No flim flammery...I just want your opinion
of where the magic will start.
(Shankton points to a point in
space on the way to the Reverend)
Shankton
here?
Reverend
yes.
Shankton
God
is completely in control of the bullet?
Reverend
yes
(Shankton
moves a few feet closer to the Reverend and points to another spot in the
air)
Shankton
Here?
Reverend
yes
Shankton
sure?
Reverend
yes
(Shankton
moves to a point directly in front of the Reverend's
skull)
Shankton
here?
Reverend
yes
Shankton
wow...too
late huh? I don't get it, that looks like a pretty raw deal for
being a man of God...
Reverend
yes it does
Shankton
That is a hell of a philosophy to base your life on. No real
guarantee of results huh? So you are saying that God might well let
that bullet fly all the way across the room and nail you in the
head?
Reverend
Yes.
Shankton
But how will that help
you?
Reverend
(The Reverend shrugs and looks at Shankton but doesn't
say anything)
Shankton
(pauses...waiting for the Reverend to add
something) ...That is a pretty vague answer for something that seems
to me like the crux of an entire belief system and an entire way of
life...
Reverend
agreed...
Shankton
(shakes his head,
completely unsatisfied) Okay, let me use another example, maybe we
will get somewhere
Reverend
Okay
Shankton
...you gotta
understand that I need answers here!
Reverend
you are in the
drivers seat...shoot.
Shankton
We have chosen the same
analogy!...maybe we'll get somewhere now! Okay, we are in a racecar
race. I have a car that has a bigger engine and better tires. You
are in a car that has an inferior engine, inferior tires but God is
sitting in the passenger seat. Who wins the race?
Reverend
I
don't know.
Shankton
You don't know!
Reverend
I really
don't
Shankton
huh...okay I think I'm going to put my money on
the car with the bigger engine and the better tires...call me
crazy.
Reverend
That is up to you.
Shankton
This whole
thing just isn't that convincing, you know? You just aren't being
all that convincing with me here...
Reverend
I don't have to
convince you, God does not have to seek anyone out, in the end,
everyone ultimately seeks him out...
Shankton
hmmm...maybe
so. (he notices that the Reverend is visibly trembling and realizes that
he is terrified.)...I don't want to you think that I am trying to
pull a power trip by using a gun to the head analogy...I'm not
planning on shooting you...okay?...I am in need of answers, and I
just want to get you into the correct frame mind so you can help
me....Do you understand...what I am trying to do is to make an
analogy for my situation...do you understand?
In real
life I am in your seat...ever since the Chinese incursion I have been
sitting in a chair with a weapon pointed at my head..and the person
peppering me with questions is not some villainous chinese dude on a
rampage...it is the several hundred men women and children who depend
on me for their survival...You see what I am saying?....If I all of a
sudden turn over a new leaf and abandon the sinful use of force to
achieve my goals...well...everyone under my protection is going to be
asking me very pointed questions as they are being bayonetted, raped,
and shot while trying to run away. Do you see where I am coming
from? I have responsibilities here...
Reverend
I think I am
starting to get the picture...
Shankton
I have carefully
analyzed the pattern of action carried out by the Chinese since they moved in 6 months ago, and I am convinced that all the friction we
have been having with them is not the product of a misunderstanding
you know what I mean? I don't think we really have anything to
talk about...you know? they want our stuff...and at the moment
they have a superior military force in the area and so they can kick
our ass and take our stuff and there is nothing on earth we can do
about it. When you have a situation like that, there is nothing to
negotiate...there is nothing to discuss...at least as far as I can
see. Do you agree?
Reverend
How could I disagree?
Shankton
All
these same questions were in my head as the murdering thugs that
murdered my father were murdering him...I was only 11, and so I
couldn't really articulate spiritual arguments very well...I
couldn't understand how someone as spiritually attuned as my father
could so easily be beaten to death on the living room floor by a
bunch of thugs...All I could really do in the form of arguing was to
charge out with a broomstick and swing wildly at the backs of the men
killing my father...
Reverend
(The Reverend is very surprised at this turn in the conversation)
Shankton
They
were very inarticualte spiritually themselves, and so the only
counter argument they could form was to grab me by the hair and throw
me out into the empty swimming pool in the back yard. I must say
that the whole exchange was not very enlightening....I was however,
extremely taken by the superficial power that being heavily armed
appeared to give them.
By the simple use of small arms, they
were able to terrorize, rape and murder a family of 5 with hardly any
risk to themselves. It was as if the Earth were illuminated with a
light coming directly down from Heavan into my mind...I saw the
truth, and at once the subtleties of good and evil, right and wrong,
yes or no, up or down seemed oddly quaint.
This was a revelation to
me...and once the flames died down from our burning house and I had
crawled out of the swimming pool under the cover of darkness with two
broken arms, I sat and thought over all this new information. After
a while, I concluded that becoming heavily armed appeared to be a
very effective way of staying alive in a world that was jam packed
with heavily armed people running around everywhere. I figured this
was the best idea for staying alive in both the short term and the
long term, and had a significant amount of empirical evidence to
back it up, so I figured I would give it a try and see where it took
me.
Reverend
So you took your most important life lessons
from a ruthless gang of murderers?
Shankton
But their
arguments were so compelling!...I mean, really they had transcended
the entire argument...it was incredible!
Reverend
I'm sorry
that happened.
Shankton
So am I...I guess...
Reverend
Why
are you really here?
Shankton
Ah yes...I'm rambling on...of
course...listen, The truth of the matter Rev. beyond all this
interesting conversation, is that I desperately need something from
you.
Reverend
You do?
Shankton
Yes...you know its odd,
when I first stumbled onto one of your revivals I had no idea what to
think...here I am in the middle of no-mans land, outside the Chinese
sphere, in the lawless land of Guerillas and Rednecks and Gunrunners
and God knows what else, and I come upon 6,000 happy people singing
and cheering in a gigantic outdoor ampitheatre in the middle of the
woods. I think, how did all these people get here? How did they
build this theatre? How did they get such a nice sound system? How
is it that in times of such trouble and strife do they find the time
to get together joyously in praise of the lord? I mulled it and
mulled it and mulled it and couldn't figure it out for the life of
me...but then one day it hit me:
MONEY!
You guys are
loaded Rev, with tons and tons of money. Its as obvious as the sun
in the sky. My theory is that you have tapped into some kind of
international Christian relief fund, that has kicked into high gear
ever since the Chinese got heavy handed with the Thomson Creek
reprisals...am I correct?
Reverend
Basically...yes...you are
correct.
Shankton
Is it
international?
Reverend
Yes.
Shankton
Okay, good, just
wanted to make sure I wasn't losing my touch...now, MONEY gets to the
heart of what I need here...I need money, and I need alot of it, and
I need it fast. I have connections to get weapons and equipment
from international dealers that would triple the scale of the
insurgencey and send these Chinese corporate motherfuckers right back
to where they came from...I have the manpower, that is not a
problem...the only problem is that these pesky weapons dealers
require cash. CASH: You have it, I want it...now lets make some
kind of deal.
Reverend
I feel a little at a disadvantage...from
a negotiating standpoint...
Shankton
yes..true..you are at
a disadvantage, so I will give you my opening position first...(a
classic blunder!)...I want the Trans-Pacific bank numbers and
passcodes for the primary accounts for your organization, and I want
statements of the monthly earnings for the last 5 years. In return
I will do my best to keep the Chinese from wiping you and every
single last one of your Christian brothers and sisters off the map.
Reverend
Why would the Chinese be interested in
us?
Shankton
Because I planted intelligence with them that
you are harboring significant insurgent elements...namely me, which
is at the moment true in an odd kind of way...and the details are
working their way up the command structure...I'd say the first air
strikes will start happening in the morning...
Reverend
(The
reverend is speechless for several moments, and his eyes wander to
the video feeds of the thousands of joyful prayer meeting attendees
all over the compound.)
Reverend
How long do I
have?
Shankton
One hour.
(The Reverend
continues to watch the feeds for a bit, and then puts his head in his
hands).
Shankton
Hey Rev...listen don't take it so
hard...its not even that big a deal. No really listen, let me lay it
out for you, its so simple, I think you'll like it alot...(looking
around the office to grab something to write with and something to
write on...he scribbles with a couple of dry pens and tosses them
off...walks over to the side desk, finds another dry pen, scribbles
with it, and gives up)...crap...you don't have a whiteboard do
you?
(The Rev gestures to the opposite wall where there is a
whiteboard)
Shankton
Awesome! (approaches the whiteboard)
Okay, great...now look at this Rev, this really made me feel better
whe I first figured it out. Okay, so first, here's me, or really,
here is my will and here are the resources that I can command
through the application of my will (he draws a large green circle on
the whiteboard)...go it? Okay, so now here is you and the forces you
command through the application of your will (he draws a smaller
circle on the board). See? Its so simple...its just that my circle
is bigger than yours...thats it!
My circle is bigger, so that
I can take over the resources at your commmand, and then impose my
will on them...see, like this! (He draws his green line around the
Reverend's circle)
Reverend
(puts his head in his
hands)
Shankton
Wait..wait, don't you see why this is so
great?...listen to me, you have been relieved of choice in the
matter...you are no longer in control!
Reverend
(The Rev looks
up, tears clearly visible in his eyes. He does not
speak)
Shankton
Its so simple, you can either:
1.
Not do what I say and you and all your people will be annihilated
within a few hours
2. Commit suicide, in which case only you
will be dead within a few minutes and the fate of your people will be
up to chance...or..
3. Give me what I want.
See, you
don't have to worry about what happens next, there is no uncertainty
for you...you aren't really responsible for what happens next...isn't
that a great feeling?
Reverend
(This thought has never, ever
occured to the Reverend prior to this moment, and it gives him pause. He
looks at the whiteboard drawing trying to unlock its
secrets)
Shankton
See? (he draws over the circles again for
emphasis)...So now my circle becomes bigger...right? But there is
more!
Here are the Chinese...(he draws a third circle that is
bigger than either of the other two). Now they are really huge, I
mean, they are a frickin giant corporation after all, almost a
state. Now what I am hoping is that between your circle and my
circle we can make a great big circle big enough to cause the Chinese
enough pain where they will dismantle their circle, and go back to
whereever the fuck they came from...and then I will be able to take
over all the little circles that they leave behind one at a
time...see? (he illustrates this idea on the whiteboard)...nice plan
huh?
Reverend
Your going to take on the Chinese
huh...
Shankton
Yeah, and you are probably thinking that I
am out of my mind, but I gotta remind you that there are a couple of
modifiyers I call them "fudge factors" that will even the
playing field. First off, I don't have to win exactly, I only
have to cause the Chinese enough time and trouble and pain so that it
fucks up their numbers. I know for a fact that they are here on a
pretty skinny margin so all I have to do is just nudge things up a
little on the cost side and soon the whole thing will be in the red
and they'll start getting enormous heat from their board to cut their
losses. Also, I get a shitload more bang for the buck than they do.
Every time I send out a tank killing squad to whack one of their
convoys, I'm only spending like 50 bucks on a few guys and about 10k
on AT rockets. On average it costs me about 5 grand to blast one of
their frickin 10 million dollar tanks, so they are spending like
1,000 times as much per engagement as I am. As long as I stick to
the smart stuff like that and keep a low profile otherwise, I can
trade shots with 'em all day long.
Reverend
You have really
thought this through...
Shankton
yeah, cool huh...but
anyway Reverend, what I was trying to get at earlier was that dispite all
these fudge factors and assymeetrical warfare elements that are
working in my favor, I still want to look for an advantage everywhere
I can...so I just want to get a handle on this God think...you
know?
Reverend
(sighs)
Shankton
Now in the old
testament, it was really clear...your average ambitious Mesopotamian
mofo had four things, he had his cash, he had his muscle, he had his
connections, and he had his relationship with God. When he needed to
whack some enemies, or take over a valley, or generally expand the
scope of his will all four of those things worked in concert (he
draws four big circles on the whiteboard). Talking to God was like
calling in a fuckin airstrike...ya know? A little prayer time and
his enemies would get smitten with some kinda horrific biblical shit,
like a flood or wild animals, or drought or some kinda crazy deal and
then all he had to do is go in with his boys and mop up.
Really
straightforward.
But that kind of thing never happens in real
life, so I'm thinking that all that stuff in the bible must be some
kinda metaphor for something else...right? It says one thing, but
it means something else...but I can't for the life of me figure out
what the fuck it might represent...I mean...I don't know...(briefly
loses his train of thought...then recovers). Anyway, all I know is
that stuff like that doesn't happen in real life, but I have always
been curious that maybe it represents some other kind of thing,
some kind of advantage or something, something that would have an
effect on my circle (he points to the first green circle of his
will).
Do you know what I am talking about Reverend?
Reverend
I
think so...
Shankton
Right, I mean, how do you feel about
your relationship with God?...I mean does it make your circle bigger?
smaller? no effect? What effect does it have exactly?
Reverend
It
is very hard to discuss it in those terms...
Shankton
What
kind of terms? I really get the feeling that there is something
useful to me here, but I just can't put my finger on it...the whole
"God as airstrike" thing is a metaphor right? I mean,
nobody ever frickin prayed to God and actually got him to bring down
some heat on his enemies right?
Reverend
Hard to
know...
Shankton
Well, I want to know...I know that my
numbers are getting better all the time, but the fricking
Chinese...they could be a really tough cookie, and I don't want to go
into this thing with any stone unturned...
(brief pause as he
waits for the Reverend to speak, then realizes he is not going to say
anything)
Shankton
I remember reading about those Eastern
dudes and all their Ninja stuff you know?...that always seemed like a
cool thing to have built into your religion, you know something like
practical...like you got your temples, and you got your bells, and
your flags and all that symbolic shit right?...you get that
covered, but then you also got your Ninjas standing by off in some
other place like the basement or something waiting for you to give
them a call. Then when those frickin Mongol Mofos show up and start
in with their rape and pillage operation on your town, you call in
the NINJAS and they come outta the basement with all their frickin
crazy skills and stuff and just kick the shit outta the Mongol dudes
until they give the fuck up and ride off somewhere else...You know?
I always thought that was a great way to set things up...religion
and kickass you know?... and I could never figure out why you
Christian guys didn't come up with some kinda Ninja
thing...
Reverend
...lets just say that we are trying to
think in terms of the long term.
Shankton
Long
term...huh...long term...that doesn't help much...what does the long
term mean if you get fucked in the short term by someone like
me?
Reverend
(The Reverend starts, very slowly...) If you
insist, I will try to explain...The basis of it all is the idea of
faith which by definition must exist in a completely different
context from proof you see? Faith is inherently not a product of
reason or intellect, it exists as something entirely separate from
the regular world in which we much cut wood and carry water. The
nature of faith is to transcend the world of here an now and touch
the infinite...
(Shankton's cellphone rings and the Reverend stops
talking. Shankton looks at the number on the caller id and gets a
pained look on his face)
Shankton
(with genuine anguish)
Listen...I have to take this call, my guys are hitting a convoy this
afternoon in sector 26 and this call might mean that something is
wrong...
Reverend
Go ahead (the phone continues to ring
insistently)
Shankton
Are you sure its okay? It seemed
like to you were getting up a head of steam and I don't want you to
lose that thought!
Reverend
Don't worry, I'll remember...go
ahead...
Shankton
Okay...(hits talk on the phone) This is
Shankton...yeah...yeah...Jesus Motherfucking Christ Nailed to the
Motherfucking Cross what the fuck is going on out
there!...what!?...(pause)....WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY WERE
READY FOR YOU!...(pause)...HOLEE FUCKING SHIT GET THE FUCK OUTTA
THERE NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!...(pause)...WELL BLOW UP THE FUEL
TANKS!...(pause)...I DON"T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE
HOSTAGES...SHOOT THE FUCKING HOSTAGES, LOAD UP WHAT YOU GOT AND GET
OUT NOW!...YES NOW!
(Shankton snaps the phone shut violently
and throws it as hard as he can at the wall. It annoyingly fails to
break)
Shankton
FUCK!
(He then sits in a chair and
puts his head in his hands for a few moments breathing
heavily.)
(there is a considerable pause before Shankton
regains his composure and returns to his bouncy self)
Shankton
Well
Rev, I hate to say it, but I do have to run, looks like the boys have
got themselves into a spot of trouble in sector 26.
Reverend
I'm
sorry to hear that.
Shankton
Isn't that always how it
works?...you just start to get somewhere with a conversation and some
fucking thing has to go wrong somewhere and boom, its back to hurry
hurry hurry!
Reverend
I hear you on that.
Shankton
Okay,
here's my card, the lemme give you my landline in case that cellphone
decides to poop out on me (he writes his number on the back of the
card). Don't worry about getting back to me on the minute, I'm gonna
be busy for at least a few hours with this sector 26 nonsense...just
leave a message on my machine and give me the bank codes. If I get
them by 5 or so I should be able to call off the airstrikes without
much trouble. Later than 6 and there won't be much I can do for
ya...okay?
Reverend
That is very fair...
Shankton
Okay,
great to meet you Rev., I hope we get a chance to continue sometime
soon, I can't wait to hear the rest of your talk...
Reverend
I'll
polish it up for you in the mean time...
(Shankton's cellphone
starts ringing again)
Shankton
Fuck...(smiling at the
irony)...Okay Rev, I gotta take this one also...I'll talk to you
soon!
(Shankton picks up the phone and answers it as he walks
out the door. When the door opens we see Reverend's receptionist looking
horrified at the two henchmen who have been camped outside the door
while they talked. Shankton starts to yell into the phone as he
walks out of earshot)
Shankton
WHAT!....HOW THE FUCK DID
THAT HAPPEN?...JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT A FUCK UP! I CAN'T
FUCKING BELIEVE....
(Scene ends with the Reverend solemnly watching
a video feed of a sermon as Shankton's voice fades down the hallway to the
elevator)
End of Scene.
Index: Complete Randy and Mike Story List
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Beyond R and M: Shankton Meets the Reverend
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